Gangstered Out
| Gangster Anonymous Meeting Los Angeles, CA 90008 |  Gangstered Out G.A. Global Services Inc. ga.global@yahoo.com |
We began to feel our gangster mentality was killing us long before we could ever admit it to anyone else. We noticed that if we tried not thinking like gangsters. we could not. We assumed we had lost control over our thinking and had no power to remove the gangster thoughts from our minds. Certain things followed as we continued to think like gangsters. We became accustomed to a state of mind that is common to gangsters. We forgot what it was like before we began thinking like gangsters. Some were taught this behavior while we were in our pampers. If ever learned we forgot how or refused to work. If ever learned. We forgot how to read or refused to read.
If ever learned, we forgot or refused to play. If ever we learned, we forgot how to speak to people or was taught to express ourselves with sheer animal aggression. We showed no concern for others. We forgot how to feel. While living life gangster, we existed in another world. We experienced periodic jolts of reality and self-awareness.It seemed we were, at the very least, two people instead of one.
Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde we ran around and tried to get our lives together before making the next move. Sometimes we could do this very well, but later it was less important- and more impossible. In the end, Or. Jackal died and Mr. Hyde took over.
Each of us have a few things we have yet to do. We cannot let these things become excuses to begin again. We will experience enough pain in honest living. We do not have to add on to the numbers. Some of us feel lonely because of differences between honest people and us because we were living dishonestly. This feeling makes it difficult to give up old associates. We all have different tolerances for pain. Some gangsters need to go to greater extremes than others. Some of us found we had enough when we realized most of our loved ones were either dead or in jail and that we ourselves were "gangstered out."
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